“Weekend Update” anchors Michael Che and Colin Jost brought their usual pop culture snark to “Saturday Night Live” on the Dec. 13 episode, and several topics have been of interest to Variety readers this week. He are some of the punchiest pop culture jokes.
On Trump’s recent Kennedy Center events:
“Last week, President Trump hosted multiple events at the Kennedy Center, including an award ceremony for Sylvester Stallone, Gloria Gaynor and rock band KISS, as well as a musical performance by The Village People. Which raises the question: Is Donald Trump a gay man from 1978? Trump also said the proposed merger between Netflix and Warner Brothers Discovery could be a problem, adding, “bribe.” In response, Netflix is offering Trump one night with the ‘K-Pop Demon Hunters.’”
On the Golden Globe nominations:
“The Golden Globe nominations were announced, with the most nominations going to the movie ‘One Battle After Another,’ and the least nominations going to Michael Che’s ‘Hold Up, Medea Got a Daughter?’”
From Jane Wickline’s song about the young “Stranger Things” cast, with interjections from Jost:
“We’re programming monsters we will lose control of soon. They’re taking every job, and singularity is approaching. They may get smarter than us, will they be our doom? I think we all know the topic I am broaching. We don’t have much time to stop them, we must kill them while they’re still weak: The child actors from ‘Stranger Things.’”
Jost: “I really thought you were talking about AI.”
“AI is just a distraction. The real threat here is Sadie Sink and her child co-stars on ‘Stranger Things.‘ ‘Stranger Things’ is ending. They’ll have so much free time. What if they grow self-aware? We need to keep them occupied. They can mobilize their followers, 60 million followers. We need to keep them occupied.”
Jost: “I just don’t understand what you think the danger is!”
“The ‘Stranger Things’ kids use a cubic mile of water every minute. If there’s a hell, Gaten Matarazzo belongs in it. They’re crushing the environment and killing the economy. Finn Wolfhard’s the devil to me.
The six of them are in a room right now, preparing to seize the next election. And for these reasons, I stand with Vecna.”
Jost: “Vecna! Jane, these kids are harmless. All they do is go on ‘Hot Ones.’”
“Colin, things that start funny can get important. Joe Rogan used to make people eat bugs, and now he’s the President of the United States. Everyone’s focused on ‘Stranger Things,’ and they’re ignoring the stranger thing of the strangers on the internet, thinking those six strange kids are no danger, but they’re the devil. We’re estranged from the truth, but I have a plan. I’ll tie some cheese to a string, put a stick under a box big enough to catch six strange kids. I’ll be a hero. I will win an award. ‘You stopped the apocalypse,’ President Chatbot will beam at me. I have to scramble the brains of the six strange kids and make them join the cast of ‘All’s Fair.’”
Watch part of this week’s Weekend Update below.